Abuse survivors usually do have trust issues. If you think about it, it makes perfectly good sense that we would have these trust issues. The one person we trust with our lives, is the one person that abused us, broke us, crumbled our world into pieces. Once you've trusted fully in this way and then find that it was all in vain its very difficult to be able to trust anyone again, anyone, including yourself. You see when you've lived a life of abuse, trust is something you have to learn again. In most cases it takes much time to be able to trust anyone ever again. You are trained to NOT trust because once your heart is shattered into a million pieces it isn't an easy thing to put it back together again. The emotional and psychological abuse is brainwashing in its finest form. It doesn't matter what type of abuse you have been through or what age you were at the time. Trust is something that is a real struggle for anyone that has ever experienced abuse.
An abuser will usually tell you many things, many promises that are never kept or end up being nothing but broken promises. Personally I loved someone with all I have and I trusted that person with my life. But slowly through the years I was shown that the one person I trusted the very most, I could not trust. Now I have a very difficult time trusting people. I had to train myself to trust in myself again when I started my healing journey. I now do trust myself but it has taken me several years to reach that point again. I trusted this person right up to the very last moment, that he would not intentionally take from me what was not his to take. But I shouldn't have and I really don't know why I did in the first place. An example of this is the last time I saw him, he had come to get his things. HIS things, not MY things. I allowed him to go out to the storage building to get his personal things that were out there. I didn't go with him because I was too broken, too sad, too hurt and I didn't want to be around him. So, he took his things and a few of my things that he shouldn't have taken at all. I chalk it up to lessons learned in all this chaos called life. I learned the last couple of weeks that we were together that I couldn't trust him with my life any longer. I couldn't trust him with his own life, our children's lives, not even a stranger's life. Once THAT trust was broken, that is when I knew without a doubt that it was over. For the 32 years I was with my abuser my trust in that person was totally shattered, little by little.
Some can learn to trust again when they find someone that they can truly love and loves them and is willing to be understanding about the issues that be, due to past abuse. Personally, I don't feel I will ever be able to truly trust any man ever again. I don't feel I will ever find a man that I can truly love again and part of the reason is because I feel afraid to trust again. I can trust my immediate family. I can trust a good friend. I prefer to trust in people until they prove I shouldn't when meeting new friends. But in a relationship, trust is not something that exists for me any longer. In time that may change, I don't know but for now, almost four years out of abuse, the trust issues are still there for me. It is a serious struggle for me to trust again. I will always have that little piece of me in the back of my head warning me not to trust too much. It tells me that things are never really what they may seem to be.
Healing from abuse seems to be a life long struggle..........
An abuser will usually tell you many things, many promises that are never kept or end up being nothing but broken promises. Personally I loved someone with all I have and I trusted that person with my life. But slowly through the years I was shown that the one person I trusted the very most, I could not trust. Now I have a very difficult time trusting people. I had to train myself to trust in myself again when I started my healing journey. I now do trust myself but it has taken me several years to reach that point again. I trusted this person right up to the very last moment, that he would not intentionally take from me what was not his to take. But I shouldn't have and I really don't know why I did in the first place. An example of this is the last time I saw him, he had come to get his things. HIS things, not MY things. I allowed him to go out to the storage building to get his personal things that were out there. I didn't go with him because I was too broken, too sad, too hurt and I didn't want to be around him. So, he took his things and a few of my things that he shouldn't have taken at all. I chalk it up to lessons learned in all this chaos called life. I learned the last couple of weeks that we were together that I couldn't trust him with my life any longer. I couldn't trust him with his own life, our children's lives, not even a stranger's life. Once THAT trust was broken, that is when I knew without a doubt that it was over. For the 32 years I was with my abuser my trust in that person was totally shattered, little by little.
Some can learn to trust again when they find someone that they can truly love and loves them and is willing to be understanding about the issues that be, due to past abuse. Personally, I don't feel I will ever be able to truly trust any man ever again. I don't feel I will ever find a man that I can truly love again and part of the reason is because I feel afraid to trust again. I can trust my immediate family. I can trust a good friend. I prefer to trust in people until they prove I shouldn't when meeting new friends. But in a relationship, trust is not something that exists for me any longer. In time that may change, I don't know but for now, almost four years out of abuse, the trust issues are still there for me. It is a serious struggle for me to trust again. I will always have that little piece of me in the back of my head warning me not to trust too much. It tells me that things are never really what they may seem to be.
Healing from abuse seems to be a life long struggle..........